Critical Thinking, Critical Consumption, Cultural Humility, Cultural Competency - Why We Need It All.

Last Updated: October 2024

Introduction: The Importance of Questioning

I question everything, especially because I never really used to at a young age.

When I was younger, I took everything as it was, exactly how it was handed to me. I was never taught how to think or how to ask questions - I guess I was also just never curious in that sense.

It never occurred to me that questioning the information presented was necessary to being a critical consumer. It could also be that I’m a little slow, but either way, critical thinking is a necessary skill that needs to be taught at the elementary school level.

Understanding the Relevance of Critical Thinking Today

With a high presence of the media, it’s important that we understand just what it means to be consumers and how to be mindful of this consumption.

We don’t necessarily have to “academically” think about what we’re reading, watching, or listening to, but it’s a good rule of thumb to keep questions rolling in your mind.

Whether we notice it or not, the media that we consume favors the dominant, white community. We can see this coined in the term, algorithm bias*. Well, how do you know that it’s biased? You create your algorithm. While that is true, with modern technology—cookies specifically—we are creating our algorithm. However, let’s go a little further back to discuss the creation of the algorithm and what happens within modern search engines.

In 2018, Noble (2018) found that Google is perpetuating narratives and giving power to dominant groups through their algorithms. It can be implied that this is all subconscious because of a lack of racial knowledge and representation. Whether consciously or not, it still negatively impacts marginalized groups. This, in turn, trickles down into every aspect of the internet that we consume.

Search engines specifically become impacted by the algorithm bias. For example, if you look up sh*t like “casual outfits,” do you notice the demographic? Or just when you look up anything, period? This can be on any search engine, like Google, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, etc.

When you have to specify who you’re looking up—for example: Asian girl light brown hairstyle—it just implies that looking up “light brown hairstyle” doesn’t include Asian people. If you look up “light brown hairstyle,” what’s the demographic?

I didn’t have to type “White girl light brown hairstyle”; it’s the implication and non-inclusive way of reinforcing that the status quo is white. It may seem so minor to some, but it just reinforces white dominance.

Furthermore, the algorithms themselves have shown and proven to disproportionately impact underrepresented and marginalized communities, as shown in Noble’s (2018) research.

The Impact of Algorithm Bias in Media Consumption

This is why inclusivity and representation are SO important. If you don’t question what you look up on the internet or just what you consume on the internet, it can lead to a lack of critical thinking skills.

The thing is, we can’t just put this all on the consumers. What about the creators of these technologies? There needs to be some accountability within that realm, too. There needs to be a real change; there needs to be true representation and inclusion within these tech companies to prevent instances in which underrepresented communities become disproportionately affected by biased algorithms.

I don’t want to disregard performative actions that occur either. It takes more than just having someone as a “face of diversity and inclusion”; it’s not the flex you think it is, Mr. Institution. Listening, learning, and seeking different experiences and stories from all different kinds of people is what’s going to really help with learning and understanding what inclusivity and representation really means. You have to really step outside of your own circle to learn from and listen to others, to create true change within society.

With that important tangent, let’s circle back to being critical consumers of the media. As mentioned, it shouldn’t be put solely on us to seek and question the media that we consume; there should definitely be change created within these tech spaces, which is also part of an even longer conversation that I am so glad to talk about, too. But, that’s not necessarily what we’re talking about now.

Becoming Critical Consumers: Responsibility Beyond Individuals

With being a critical consumer comes being a critical thinker. This helps to understand and dig deep into what the media is trying to say and make you think about the ways you consume media. Who posted this? What are their beliefs? Is there already bias embedded by the owner of this media post?

In other words: Always do your own research.

Fostering Critical Thinking Skills in Education

That just felt necessary to say. You can’t just believe everything that is handed to you. Question it. It’s okay to. That’s not what you’re taught in school growing up. You’re not taught how to think or how to learn (I mean, unless you’re a curious learner, which I was not, haha). You just “learn” random “facts” and sh*t. That can be part of a larger conversation, and to get a glimpse into it, read more here!

We are taught to basically memorize and regurgitate facts. It was rare that someone wanted to learn because no one really taught us how to actually learn or really have fun with learning. No one truly connected with the material that was presented to us. You’re basically just taught how to memorize things, how to take information as it is—and barely on how to critically think, be problem solvers, be culturally competent, and exhibit cultural humility.

That’s just a small snippet into what the education system should be implementing into their curriculum, especially in schools that have large populations of underrepresented communities.

I just think that implementing all of this into the education system and granting more money and resources to the education system would be a proactive approach to social justice.

It’s an institution (UGH), so it makes it a lot harder to try to get things like this implemented—like cultural competency, cultural humility, and all that. We’d be teaching children to question what’s presented to them, as they should, and, unfortunately, there are a lot of places that would definitely oppose this. It’s definitely a more progressive approach, which would, unfortunately, create a lot of chaos and backlash. That is also part of a larger conversation.

Conclusion: The Path Toward Empathy and Social Justice

With all that said, be aware of what’s being put out on the internet in whatever capacity. Understand that representation and inclusion are important in all aspects of media consumption. Representation and inclusion are important for communities and individuals. Representation helps with connection, and inclusion helps with cultural competency and cultural humility. All of this, in turn, helps build empathy and helps us strive toward social justice.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Maybe I’m an overthinker, maybe this was just a tangent, but I do think everything I said holds truth.

*I learned about this in a class I took - Tech Inequality in the Silicon Valley. Keep an eye out for a blog post regarding everything related to this, that way you can fact check me and my sources (;

Noble, S. U. (2018). Searching for black girls. In Algorithms of Oppression: How Search Engines Reinforce Racism (pp. 64–109). NYU Press. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt1pwt9w5.6

Investing in Me: How I'm Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Growth in My 20s

mood. and that’s on self-love.

Last Updated: October 2024

I could and would definitely make “dating” a topic of this series, however, I am not dating - actually, I’m dating myself. 

It seems obvious that “dating” would be a topic in a series regarding living life in your 20s, but we gotta keep you on ya toes. JK, it’s really just that, at this moment, dating is not for me. 

Between being a content creator, while actively being a full-time corporate baddie, it’s a lot. I’d lowkey be at a gamble with my time: how do I make time for myself, time for dating, all on top of my work and passions?

I’m not opposed to dating - I definitely think meeting new people, flirting, getting dined out, and all of that sh*t, is super fun and holds a lot of value, but that sh*t lowkey be a lot of work, ya know? I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I want to be single and want to date myself. 

What I’m learning about myself

Learning about myself means investing time in my own work and my own passions. 

I wouldn’t be opposed to going on a date - I’d be more opposed to like… continually talking to someone… and them having my number. I just want to be #unbothered. I can’t give ample time or energy to someone else right now, so why put myself out there like that? 

I’m tapping into a lot of self-reflection and healing at this time, which is helping with self-discovery. This, in itself, requires a lot of time and energy. 

I’ve come to learn that I love learning. I have honestly been missing school - I like having open dialogue that deepens critical thinking and opens your mind to different perspectives - not only does it help you learn about different topics in general, but it helps you understand where your perspectives/values lie. It also helps you to have an open-mind and just constantly think about the world around you. It helps with your critical thinking. 

See, b!tch, merely speaking of being critical and deep thinkers allows the scholarly writing to pour out. 

But, back to self-reflection: I’m realizing all of these things about myself where I just want to continue to go down that rabbit hole for the time being. 

“yeAh, bUt wHat iF yOu mEeT SomEoNe?” 

Well, b!tch, that’s a big “what if” and something that we’ll figure out if that were to happen and when it does happen - bottom line is, i’m just not actively participating in the dating. 

Further lonesome thoughts

It’s not even that I don’t want to date LMAO, I just want to shift my focus to myself right now because 1) I love learning more about myself and 2) I got sh*t to work on. Like I said, being a full-time corporate baddie while being a content creator, girrrrllll, there’s only so much time in a day. With my down time, I’d rather spend it on taking myself out, reading, writing, working out, etc. I like being single right now and having all hours, minutes, days, thinking about myself. Circling back, it’s just not feasible to give someone else time and energy when I’m this invested in myself. 

So I just think that right now, I’m dating myself and loving my life. Thank you. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Lowkey epiphany: every new period of my life, I feel as if I go through some sort of phase of self-love and self-reflection before everything else falls into place. 

I’m saying this because when I started at a new middle school, I found my style, my vibe, my friends, from mostly being to myself at first, learning more about what I like, exploring new things, before “dating” people. (“dating” because it’s middle school, b!tch, like be so fr). And then same with high school and college. It was all at the beginning - the transition period - where I did that self-love and self-reflection work before investing time in the dating world. I need to be aware of where I am at this point of my life before allowing others deeply in. 

I guess I'm just subconsciously aware of what it means to start a new period of your life: there’s a lot of changes ahead, but first and foremost, a lot of individual changes within these transitions. That means, you’re re-learning and re-discovering who you are at this new point in your life with new life lessons and possible new perspectives of how you view yourself and the world around you. Life changes and life transitions are important and necessary, but so is the self-reflection that comes from within. 

Wow, look at that: knowledge. #KnowledgeIsPower

Listen to Your Inner Goddess: Trusting Yourself in Your 20s

Last Updated: October 2024

The best thing you can do is learn how to trust yourself and listen when your gut is telling you something. 

I cannot emphasize how many times I’ve doubted myself and my initial instincts, to come to realize that I was right in the first place. 

When your gut is saying something, please listen - in any scenario that you are in. 

If you’re getting any sort of feeling regarding anything, then, b!tch, you better listen! That feeling was there for a reason. This can be good, bad, and anything in between - just f*cking listen to your gut.  

I, like many others, trust other people’s opinions and what they have to say. But at one point or another, you gotta just put full trust in yourself. It’s not the easiest thing, at all. I literally am currently still struggling with it, but do you, trust yourself. 

You really gotta listen and allow your intuition to do its thing. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Entrepreneurial Queens vs. Corporate Baddies: The Battle for Time

Last Updated: October 2024

Do you ever realize how much of our lives are surrounded by time? 

We are literally constrained by the clock. We think about it constantly, especially in a capitalist country, where time and money are damn near synonymous. We are obsessed with making money, which directly correlates to time. 

Everyone is constantly moving, trying to figure out their next move. 

I don’t want to live like that LMAO where the clock runs my life. 

Me and the clock 

I’m having a taste of what it’s like to have the clock run your life, and holy sh*t, y’all really just settled for this?  (A corporate lifestyle btw, if that wasn’t clear) Working constantly, stuck in the same f*cking cycle - day after f*cking day. 

Don’t get me wrong, I really love my job, I just don’t get how people don’t get tired of this sh*t. Like wtf do you MEAN we only have a TWO DAY break in between five whole ass work days. 

That’s some f*cking bullsh*t. 

Inner conflict with time

Bouncing back off of how this generation is changing the workplace, we’re desiring for more freedom financially, personally, and socially.  I still want to work and hustle, but as an entrepreneur, not as an entity in a corporation. In a corporation, you’re running on their time instead of your own time. As much as I love my job, idk how much longer I can run on this kind of never-ending corporate clock. 

I’m really struggling to find time and balance between corporate work and my own passions. I want to give all of my time to my business, obviously, but it’s f*cking exhausting, b!tch - trying to balance being a corporate baddie, but also striving towards becoming an entrepreneur. 

Being a corporate baddie isn’t all that bad. I am definitely learning so much, and think it’s a necessary step for me in my own personal growth, but it’s like, at what cost? Freedom?

The true struggle

The real struggle is being on a strict schedule. 

Listen, if I get a minute off of schedule, everything is f*cking ruined. And this is what I mean by running by clock time. The clock/time is literally running my life rather than the other way around. Do I want that? I mean, who tf wants that? Where every minute of your life is worth, essentially, more than money. Where you’re literally racing the f*cking clock. Like, bro, that’s stressful as f*ck.

But, hey, #GrindDontStop. 

Even though it f*cking should. Lol like slow tf down, let me catch a f*cking breath!!! 

Part of me is like, why don’t we just live off natural time, like the natural human beings that we are? Then the other part of me is like “WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK”, I mean, Riri said it best, amirite. 

So many struggles, feel me? LMAO

What y’all think? 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

20s, Energies, and Boundaries: Where to Draw the Line

Last Updated: October 2024

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not going to allow my own energy to be disturbed by anyone.

Protecting Your Energy

I think more people need to understand and realize that there’s no issue in wanting to protect your own energy or maintain your peace. Personally, I don’t see any value or advantage in allowing your peace to be interfered with for the sake of someone else.

Why it Matters

It may sound selfish and even a little harsh, but what do you gain by allowing someone else to walk all over your aura? Yes, you are protecting them, but what about ourselves?

Once you realize what’s serving you versus what’s not and you block out anything that disrupts your peace, life is just so much more fun and it feels so much easier.

Finding Inner Peace

I have to be honest, I’m still working on maintaining my peace. With the small changes that I’ve made, I’ve noticed that I feel less worried. It’s my life, and I’m not going to let anyone drain my own energy.

This honestly requires a lot of inner work where you unlearn old habits and become aware of what you bring into your life. This self-awareness can allow you to find true peace because you truly understand what’s positively impacting your life - you understand what you need/want in your life versus what you don’t.

We shouldn’t allow anyone or anything to f*ck with us.

Like how are you going to be disturbing me on my phone? Bye, immediately blocked!

Sometimes, silence is the best answer.

Learning when to speak up and when to stay quiet is a huge lesson that we all need to learn. We’ll have to choose between protecting our peace or pushing our boundaries. There are some things that just aren’t worth our energy - I want us all to be mindful of this. It’s so easy to react without thought, but I want us to at least be aware of this. Be aware of what may be disrupting your peace.

There’s no reason to put your energy into something that’s ultimately going to drain your own. Here’s to being bad b!tches with self-awareness, self-care, and self-love! Protect that energy, b!tch. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Self-Love: The Ultimate Act of Rebellion in Your 20s

Last Updated: October 2024

Listen, b!tch, I love myself. I can’t emphasize this enough. I’ve reached a point where loving and understanding myself has gone beyond anything I could ever imagine, it’s as if I’m dating myself. I mean, I basically am dating myself. I’ve learned the value of my own time and I’m continuing to learn more about myself and the world around me every day. 

We are all multifaceted people. There’s so many layers to each of us, and, let’s be real, sometimes, we don’t even understand our own layers. 

Using Self-Reflection to Reach Ultimate Self-love

Learning how to love yourself and learning how to value your own time is not only about a bath, a face mask, buying yourself whatever you want, etc. Don’t get me wrong, that’s definitely part of self-care and self-love, but what about self-reflection. 

When you self-reflect, you learn and understand more about who you are. You become more self-aware of your thoughts, your actions, and your values. Doing inner work can have the ability to boost your self-confidence and self-love because you have that internal, rather than external, validation. You begin to understand your own self-worth and it’s just a beautiful thing to see and a beautiful thing to obtain because you can then grow to your higher self, your full potential. 

Obviously, this is easier said than done, and can definitely be more beneficial with professional help, but simply understanding what internal/inner work could be potentially done, is already one step closer to your higher self.

Do It For You

There’s always a reason as to why we do the things we do - it’s just a matter of understanding them and using them for your own advantage through self-reflective work. We can continue in old, negative patterns, or we can learn and grow from them. 

If you can give love to others, you definitely should put yourself on the receiving end, too. Learn how to give yourself that same love and learn what you need for yourself. It’s not selfish to want to spend time with yourself or to want more for yourself. It’s your f*cking life, bro. It shouldn’t be seen as negative to want to spend time with yourself, or to achieve high levels of self-love. Self-love comes with self-reflection. The self-reflection work is definitely a long process, but when you achieve that high level of self-love, it will be so worth the wait. You’ll realize just how worth it you are, that you are a priceless human<3

I just want all of us to be our higher selves and to have the utmost love for themselves. 

Find ways to level up, the best competition is with yourself. How can I be better? How can I become the higher version of myself? How would my future self approach this?

Here’s to being the absolute best version of yourself. Send love to yourself <3

And remember, your past, present, and future selves all deserve love.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Dive into Fearlessness: How Conquering the Unknown Leads to Life-Changing Experiences

Last Updated: October 2024

I want you to really live your f*cking life to its fullest, with zero regrets.

This is why we need to be doing things that scare us, because how else can we learn, grow, and have real experiences? If we remain stable and comfortable, it can be much harder to reach our full potential.

Using Failure as a Value

There’s a lot of value in failure, honestly. I know that may be scary and hard to hear, but it’s the truth. You are only doing yourself a disservice when you don’t take risks solely because you are afraid of failure. Think of it in this way:

Everything always works in your favor.

There is always a reason why things take an unexpected direction, and understanding that can shift your perspective. Failures are a valuable lesson—learn from them, grow from them. Failure is just a detour to your destination, a temporary setback.

One thing about me, I’m not afraid to fail. Not that many things scare me. Obviously, I have my set of fears, but fear of failure doesn’t fall in that line. How will I learn without making mistakes?

I’ve had my set of failures. In college, I struggled academically at first—to the point where I thought I wouldn’t graduate on time. But that realization pushed me to rediscover my love of learning and prove to myself that I could turn things around. That’s how I found my passion for blogging.

Taking Advantage of the Words You Say to Yourself

Given my track record, I genuinely feared that I (1) wouldn’t graduate and (2) wouldn’t graduate with honors. But I had a vision: I wanted to graduate with a 4.0 GPA—very ambitious of me—considering I was averaging a B to C grade level.

I essentially manifested the sh*t out of my life. I would tell myself, every day, “I am graduating in spring 2022 with a 4.0 GPA.” Wherever there was space in my planner, I would write it down: “I am graduating in spring 2022, everything always works in my favor.”

At first, I wasn’t sure if the words I was saying were real, if what I was writing down was even real. But I had no choice. I had to believe it. There was no way that I wasn’t graduating in four years—not only for financial reasons, but I had set that goal since the beginning. Not believing in myself wasn’t an option.

After putting in the work, not only were things looking up, but I found my newfound love of learning. My hard work led me to this: blogging. I loved writing essays, especially academic essays, and it opened up a new path for me.

When it came to blogging, I had no idea what I was doing. Was I afraid to fail? Absolutely. Was I afraid of what people would think? Absolutely. Was I afraid that no one would read it? Absolutely.

But at the end of the day, I had to remember why it was important for my voice to be heard. I had to block out the noise and focus on my fulfillment, understanding that my voice is important and valuable. This is how I like to express myself, and if someone doesn’t like it or if no one even reads it, at least I know that I tried and put my all into it.

What I Learned about Self-Talk

You really have to rewire your brain—take advantage of your self-talk and understand that setbacks don’t define you. It’s all about how you react and how you decide to move forward.

You can use your setbacks as a learning experience, or you can be negative about it. I chose to use my setbacks as a learning experience, to spring me forward, rather than letting them drag me down. There’s always more than one way to react to anything. I encourage you to use the one that ends in: things always working in your favor.

This is all about how you speak to yourself. Unfortunately, it can be easier to feed into your negative thoughts, especially automatic negative thoughts or ANTs, which ultimately rewires your subconscious negatively.

Instead, try telling yourself every day: “everything always works in my favor” or “everything always works out for me,” you can even add “I’m so lucky, everything always works out for me,” because it truly works. Your subconscious repeats itself and that’s just exactly what’s going to happen.

Obviously, there’s work that needs to be done to get to that place of reaching your manifestations or goals. I didn’t just say those things to myself without putting in the work. Since I was telling this to myself every day, I had to find ways in order to make it true—whatever it took, honestly.

Take advantage of your subconscious and rewire it to believe that you can achieve anything you want, despite setbacks.

If you’re having trouble and continue to speak negatively about yourself, I also encourage you to switch your thoughts into the third person. For example, “I am going to fail” turns into “Kaels is going to fail” and just take a moment to think, why would someone say that about yourself? Think of yourself in positive terms—you deserve it. <3

Conclusion

Take those risks, step outside of your comfort zone, and don’t be afraid to fail. We have to really live and experience our lives, y’all! There’s value in everything that you do, and that goes with your reactions to your downfalls. We gotta have the downs to have the ups, let’s be real.

Elsa said it best: into the unknown.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

How the Next Generation is Prioritizing Creativity over Conformity and Changing the Workforce

I love how we all know our worth and won’t let something like corporate America get in the way of that. We all will do what we need to do, to get to where we need to be, but we will not be treated less than human. 

We will not allow anyone to talk to us with any level of disrespect and we won’t be treated robotically either. 

There was just such a lack of empathy and knowledge before (I mean, we can def argue that that’s still a problem, because I mean, hello - but that’s a different story for a different time) that now, we are just feeling as if enough is enough. We want things to change for the better. 

I feel like there's more of a grasp to be our own entrepreneurs - we still want our creativity and energy to continue to flow into projects, just without constraint. We mainly just want to do something we love, while making money, and without feeling so exhausted all the time. There needs to be a good balance when it comes to working and living.

We want the freedom to live, not just survive. 

With rapid advancements in technology, there’s so much more exposure to things that we wouldn’t have seen before. There’s so much more widespread knowledge to be gained. With that comes responsibility, obviously, but it’s just so available, so why wouldn’t we want more for ourselves? Why would we want to be stuck in a cycle? Feel me?

I want to hear what y’all think about this. Or if you even think about this? Thoughts? Questions? Additions? Let me know, I’m so curious. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Fake it Til You Slay it: The Power of Confidence and Self-Belief

Last Updated: October 2024

Live how you see your future self, that way you turn into exactly that. I can tell you that when you start to simply act confident, you’ll soon just naturally become confident. And everything just works out in your favor. Believe that.

Building Confidence

Walk around as if you own everything and as if the world revolves around you. Because, it does. 

Power isn’t given to you, you always have it. You are so f*cking powerful, use that. 

The universe always has your back. 

Tell yourself this, every day.

You have to believe it yourself in order for things to happen, for things to align. 

Your words are more powerful than you think. Whatever you say in your mind, whatever you say out loud, your mind is trained to believe whatever you say or whatever you put out there. 

For you boss b!tches

I truly just want you to understand how powerful you are - you’re a bad b!tch. Don’t ever forget that.

When you start being the person you see yourself to be, everything will fall into place. You have to believe that you’re exactly where you need to be and that you are going to end up exactly where you are meant to because the universe knows that. 

I know what you’re thinking, like “this f*cking b!tch” and YES, this f*cking b!tch LMAO. Show up for yourself. MAKE the change. Visualize your higher self and show up and act accordingly. 

You have the dreams and visualizations for a f*cking reason. Now act on it. Just let it be, show up, and be that b!tch. Trust the universe!! It always has your back. 

Let’s get it!

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Unleashing My True Self: A 20-Something's Fight Against Inauthenticity

Last Updated: October 2024

Author’s Note

Before you read this, I want you to know that this piece needs a rewrite—a new take on how I feel about authenticity. It’s fascinating, for lack of a better word, to see how I felt a year ago. Do I still feel the same? I wouldn’t go as far as saying the same, but there’s definitely more to it now.

I’ve been learning a lot, and I think it’s important that I went through that phase of my life. Why am I still keeping this up? Because I find it valuable. It helps me understand who I was then and how I’ve changed since. It’s been well over a year since I wrote this, and while the content may no longer reflect my current views, it holds value in showing how far I've come and how my insights have evolved.

I want you to know that an updated version of this piece is in the works. For now, you can read the thoughts of my past self—someone who was holding onto a lot of anger and resentment:

Fight Against Inauthenticity

B!tch, I’ve had a whole a$$ epiphany: I’ve been struggling to be myself.

Like do I know who I am? Yes, but very much no. The social aspect of college got me all the way f*cked up.

B!tch, I just feel like the culture difference was a lot on me. I grew up always being around people of color, so I was shocked when I entered college. I completely understand why this girl I was super close with in the beginning of college, dropped out. I do be questioning if I should’ve, too, but, hey, can’t change the past.

I deadass just feel like I don’t know how to act because of my previous inability to show who I was throughout my college experience at a PWI. And listen, you can tell me, statistically, that it wasn’t even half white (I checked out this website, too, for fun) - that statistic HIGH KEY surprised me, I’m not going to lie - but I feel like the difference was with socioeconomic class, to be f*cking honest (I couldn’t find stats for this, so this was just mere observation and judgment). Also, most, if not all, other people of color -whom I’ve met- grew up in places that were predominantly white, so our experiences and backgrounds varied significantly, which made it a little harder to connect. Growing up, I never felt like I had to be anyone else because I was comfortable with who I was - I didn’t feel as if I was singled out as different, whereas in college, I felt hella different, bruh. It was hard to feel comfortable with who I was because it was a struggle to connect with others on a deeper level.

Now, I feel like I’m only “myself” around my family and a handful of other people - I don’t express that authentic side of me enough anymore, so most of my brain is stuck in this “try to conform to the culture around me” survivor mode (ew). Kinda deep, kinda dark. Yeah that place got me more f*cked up than I thought LMAO.

I’m f*cking glad I had this epiphany, though, cause what the f*ck, how dare I let that place dictate my life in a negative way. LOL well, here’s to a year of more self-discovery, being more comfortable with who I am, and not giving a F*CK.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Read more about my college experience here!

Finding Balance in a World of Uncertainty: A 20-Something's Reflections on Creating Change and Living Freely

Updated: Oct 2024

Does anyone else feel stuck between “the world is ending, stop giving a f*ck” and “we gotta make changes to save the world”? Or are we all just collectively thinking, “what in the actual f*ck is going on?”

I find myself struggling to carry on with my “normal life,” just acting as if the world isn’t in complete shambles.

This is especially true with respect to the atrocities in Palestine—now pushing into Lebanon—Congo, and Sudan. We really do not learn anything from history at all. History has proven time and time again that it repeats itself, sometimes tenfold. All I want to say is #FreePalestine, #FreeCongo, #FreeSudan, #FreeLebanon, and FUCK COLONIALISM.

It becomes so hard to think about any kind of future when it seems as if the world is coming to an end. The continuous negative impacts of colonialism and capitalism reveal themselves every day, yet nothing seems to change.

Thoughts About the Future

I feel as if I have a responsibility to create a better future for the next generations, but I cannot fathom even thinking beyond a few years from now. Obviously, things are constantly evolving, but at this rate, how can we even be sure that it is evolving into a better place? Not only are mass genocides occurring, but the climate crisis is also in disarray.

There is a whole population of Palestinian, Congolese, Sudanese, and Lebanese people who need our help—who deserve to be free. We’re supposed to learn from history, but history is currently repeating itself with no change. It feels like we’re really pushing, but what do we need to do in order for it to stop?

Not to sound morbid, but when so many things are plummeting, how can we even possibly think the future is bright? It’s not supposed to sound so dark, but I mean, how else is it supposed to sound?

Thoughts to Consider

The more media I consume, the more obvious it is that the newer generation has a better understanding of empathy and critical thinking. I know our algorithms are doing their job, but it seems more apparent that the newer generation advocates for a humanitarian approach.

When it comes to media consumption, we should continue to question what we come across and take the time to think before forming opinions, especially since media is far more present in our lives than it ever has been before. This is a big reason why critical thinking in schools is so important. But I digress. Everything exists on a spectrum, and we should continue to question what is presented.

There’s no doubt that media consumption is overwhelming. I think that while it’s important to educate oneself and stay up to date with current events, is there still room for our own self-care? This is where the inner conflict lies for me, at least.

By no means do I want to sound selfish, but it’s a genuine question. Why do I feel that it’s necessary to indulge in self-care? Why do I feel that it’s necessary to continue to think about a future? This is all beyond me—I, unfortunately, do not have any answers for you. I am privileged in the sense that I can look away from the atrocities and sleep well at night knowing that this isn’t happening to me, living in a country that is literally funding and being complicit in genocide.

Everyone always mentions the need for self-care, and while I definitely think it’s important, is it selfish to want it while others are literally suffering?

Conclusion

I didn’t want to end this on a morbid note, nor did I want to overwhelm anyone with the current state of the world. I don’t condemn anyone who is engaging in their well-deserved self-care because, let’s be honest, we all deserve self-care, and we all deserve to feel as if the world will be at peace.

With that, I just want to know your thoughts on trying to change the world and salvage it versus just letting it be and continuing to live your life as it is. Are our new critical thinking skills propelling us forward? Are we just thinking about the issues without trying to find any real solutions? It seems to be the direction we’re headed: understanding the issue but not having real, tangible solutions, which brings me back to my initial thought of “what in the actual f*ck is going on?”

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

The Second Coming: Is Second Puberty a Real Thing?

image via Pinterest

updated: October 2024

I heard this on TikTok (LMAO), but someone was discussing how women in their early 20s, around twenty-three years old, go through a huge ‘rebirth.’ Some people were even calling it a “second puberty.”

Let me tell you, I feel like I’m in the midst of that happening, and it feels like—and I cannot emphasize this enough—what the f*ck.

Welcome to the Rebirth

In our early 20s, most of us are navigating a whole new chapter in our lives. Some of us may have just graduated from college, some may have just started college, some may be entering the workforce, and some may just be cruisin’ along the way. Whatever it may be, it’s a time for a lot of change and maturity. We’re starting to see the world through a new lens. I’m beginning to feel like a whole ass woman.

On TikTok, I heard someone mention that if you’re twenty-three, you’re technically a “three-year-old adult.” When placed into that perspective, it changes everything. We are new adults, just expected to figure all this sh*t out on our own—I mean, that’s how life goes, right? Personally, I’m just trying to navigate this as I go. But if I’m being honest, adults seemed more “adultier” when I was younger.

At this point, I feel stuck between wanting to figure out womanhood by myself and wanting some guidance. I find joy and satisfaction in learning and teaching myself, but it definitely feels like this is something where I need more support and direction.

Seeking Guidance in a New World

I want to surround myself with people who resemble who I want to be. This is where things get a little difficult.

I want to seek mentors who share my values and are living the lifestyle I aspire to. Why is it difficult? Bitch, I’m shy! I’m not one to just go up to someone and start talking, I’ll tell you that much.

So, how do I combat that? I don’t. This is why communities on the internet are so important. They provide a great platform and space for people to connect and learn from one another—you can seek exactly what you’re looking for, and the algorithms will be working in your favor. You can align your media consumption to match what you seek.

That’s what I want here. I want to bring together young adults who want the absolute best for themselves; who want to continue to learn and grow; who aspire to be their higher selves; who see their future beyond what it is now.

Shifting Into a New Era

Whenever I’m going through a huge shift or a new chapter in my life, I dive deep into self-reflection and self-evaluation. I really need to check in with myself, visualize where I want this next chapter to go, and figure out what my ultimate goal is.

Lately, I’ve noticed that my style is shifting. I’m over my current wardrobe—it’s mostly pieces from my previous era, and I can confidently say I am not that girl anymore. There are only a handful of items I actually like to wear: my basics (which is why basics are so important in your wardrobe, btw—check out my tips on elevating your closet here)!

The only other times I’ve craved a new wardrobe were when I was hitting a turning point in my life, so this can only mean one thing: new beginnings!

The Truth About the ‘Second Puberty’

So, is “second puberty” a real thing? Scientifically, no, but socially, yes! Things are kind of awkward; we’re learning more about ourselves, we’re wanting new clothes, we’re noticing changes—c’mon, that’s a little like puberty.

Anyways, it’s happening, and it’s difficult, but with self-love and self-reflection practices, it’s a little easier to get through.

Don’t forget, this time is yours—have fun, play around with your style, get to know yourself, take yourself on dates, meet new people, try new things, and put yourself out there. Do it all! This is truly prime time—our time—so let’s f*cking get it! But also, remember, it’s okay to have both ups and downs because in order to have ups, you gotta have the downs. It’s only up from here!!!

Here’s to always being bad b!tches, practicing self-love, and proving the haters wrong.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3