Unleashing My True Self: A 20-Something's Fight Against Inauthenticity

updated: Jan. 2026

With the rise of social media, I find individuality losing against trends.

Trends have always existed, but with the influencer market constantly shoving new “it girl” items down our throat, consumers struggle to keep up and conformity continues to rise. Within the last couple of years, we’ve seen the “it girls”: the clean, pilates, matcha, Alo-loving girls.

No shade, no hate - I am a lover of pilates and matcha as well, but what really rattles me is the trend of an “it girl”. Creators telling consumers that this is what the “it girls” have and what they’re doing, alluding that the “other girls” aren’t “it girls”.

Critical Consumption

It’s seemingly obvious that all roads lead to the critical consumption of media. When it comes to scrolling through social media and what we are marketed, words like “it girl” really jump out at me. It almost preys on the youth to buy whatever they’re selling and it’s creating a mob of middle schoolers in Sephora, begging their parents to buy them $45 skincare products that they definitely don’t need.

In no way am I saying I’m the exception to this; I am easily influenced by social media and I am trying to be better at the rate at which I buy products, but it’s definitely a learning process.

Stuck in the cycle of aesthetics

If I’m being honest, I didn’t realize how stuck I was in the cycle of trends. I consume media in such a linear fashion - everything is for my aesthetic and I want everything to look a certain way, with how I dress, how I post, and even just how I live.

This has served my purpose, though, being someone who is very detail-oriented. I’m all for things that look appealing to the eye, which has a lot to do with my work ethic and my organizational skills, but that’s neither here nor there, solely just a look into how my brain works.

Where it serves its purpose in my work ethic, I can’t say that it’s always served a purpose when it comes to who I am: feeling the need to only post “pretty posts”, specifically when it comes to Instagram.

We can dissect the evolution of Instagram because I think it’ll serve great purpose in understanding the need to make things look “aesthetic” at all times, but I also think we’ve all just collectively come to that conclusion. The conclusion that Instagram is not real: we only showcase what we want to showcase in such edited versions of ourselves.

Fighting against inauthenticity

I’m now at a place where I feel challenged to be myself. A lot of this has to do with the physical city that I am in, but quite possibly can also be because of my age. I don’t want to look like all of the “it girls”; I want to discover myself without having to rely on social media.

I’m at an age where I am falling fully in love with myself, rediscovering old hobbies, and not caring about other people’s opinions. There’s no “right way” to be yourself, it’s all about what feels good for you. So, I guess there can be a wrong way: doing things to please others or gain attention from others.

Nothing has to make sense to others as long as it makes sense to you. There’s freedom in releasing yourself from external pressure or validation.

Conclusion

I’ve undergone a lot of different eras of myself, but I can confidently say that I was always true to my values. Though I still get wrapped up in a “pretty Instagram”, I still post whatever I want because it’s my Instagram.

I’m actually still discovering my own fashion sense, believe it or not. Moving from a small town where I stood out like a highlighter, to then being in a place where I seemingly “blend in”, it challenges me and makes me want to push my own limits when it comes to fashion.

I’m continually being challenged to rediscover myself and what I love. This only works because of my innate need to self-reflect and journal at any sight of change.

I always want to stay true to myself no matter what. Though trends can offer a helping hand into finding your style, it shouldn’t be the only thing you rely on. If I like something, then I like it, it doesn’t matter what the masses are doing, and it shouldn’t matter.

I urge you to challenge yourself with your style, hobbies, or living space. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else but you.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3