20s, Energies, and Boundaries: Where to Draw the Line

Last Updated: October 2024

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not going to allow my own energy to be disturbed by anyone.

Protecting Your Energy

I think more people need to understand and realize that there’s no issue in wanting to protect your own energy or maintain your peace. Personally, I don’t see any value or advantage in allowing your peace to be interfered with for the sake of someone else.

Why it Matters

It may sound selfish and even a little harsh, but what do you gain by allowing someone else to walk all over your aura? Yes, you are protecting them, but what about ourselves?

Once you realize what’s serving you versus what’s not and you block out anything that disrupts your peace, life is just so much more fun and it feels so much easier.

Finding Inner Peace

I have to be honest, I’m still working on maintaining my peace. With the small changes that I’ve made, I’ve noticed that I feel less worried. It’s my life, and I’m not going to let anyone drain my own energy.

This honestly requires a lot of inner work where you unlearn old habits and become aware of what you bring into your life. This self-awareness can allow you to find true peace because you truly understand what’s positively impacting your life - you understand what you need/want in your life versus what you don’t.

We shouldn’t allow anyone or anything to f*ck with us.

Like how are you going to be disturbing me on my phone? Bye, immediately blocked!

Sometimes, silence is the best answer.

Learning when to speak up and when to stay quiet is a huge lesson that we all need to learn. We’ll have to choose between protecting our peace or pushing our boundaries. There are some things that just aren’t worth our energy - I want us all to be mindful of this. It’s so easy to react without thought, but I want us to at least be aware of this. Be aware of what may be disrupting your peace.

There’s no reason to put your energy into something that’s ultimately going to drain your own. Here’s to being bad b!tches with self-awareness, self-care, and self-love! Protect that energy, b!tch. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Self-Love: The Ultimate Act of Rebellion in Your 20s

Last Updated: October 2024

Listen, b!tch, I love myself. I can’t emphasize this enough. I’ve reached a point where loving and understanding myself has gone beyond anything I could ever imagine, it’s as if I’m dating myself. I mean, I basically am dating myself. I’ve learned the value of my own time and I’m continuing to learn more about myself and the world around me every day. 

We are all multifaceted people. There’s so many layers to each of us, and, let’s be real, sometimes, we don’t even understand our own layers. 

Using Self-Reflection to Reach Ultimate Self-love

Learning how to love yourself and learning how to value your own time is not only about a bath, a face mask, buying yourself whatever you want, etc. Don’t get me wrong, that’s definitely part of self-care and self-love, but what about self-reflection. 

When you self-reflect, you learn and understand more about who you are. You become more self-aware of your thoughts, your actions, and your values. Doing inner work can have the ability to boost your self-confidence and self-love because you have that internal, rather than external, validation. You begin to understand your own self-worth and it’s just a beautiful thing to see and a beautiful thing to obtain because you can then grow to your higher self, your full potential. 

Obviously, this is easier said than done, and can definitely be more beneficial with professional help, but simply understanding what internal/inner work could be potentially done, is already one step closer to your higher self.

Do It For You

There’s always a reason as to why we do the things we do - it’s just a matter of understanding them and using them for your own advantage through self-reflective work. We can continue in old, negative patterns, or we can learn and grow from them. 

If you can give love to others, you definitely should put yourself on the receiving end, too. Learn how to give yourself that same love and learn what you need for yourself. It’s not selfish to want to spend time with yourself or to want more for yourself. It’s your f*cking life, bro. It shouldn’t be seen as negative to want to spend time with yourself, or to achieve high levels of self-love. Self-love comes with self-reflection. The self-reflection work is definitely a long process, but when you achieve that high level of self-love, it will be so worth the wait. You’ll realize just how worth it you are, that you are a priceless human<3

I just want all of us to be our higher selves and to have the utmost love for themselves. 

Find ways to level up, the best competition is with yourself. How can I be better? How can I become the higher version of myself? How would my future self approach this?

Here’s to being the absolute best version of yourself. Send love to yourself <3

And remember, your past, present, and future selves all deserve love.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Dive into Fearlessness: How Conquering the Unknown Leads to Life-Changing Experiences

Last Updated: October 2024

I want you to really live your f*cking life to its fullest, with zero regrets.

This is why we need to be doing things that scare us, because how else can we learn, grow, and have real experiences? If we remain stable and comfortable, it can be much harder to reach our full potential.

Using Failure as a Value

There’s a lot of value in failure, honestly. I know that may be scary and hard to hear, but it’s the truth. You are only doing yourself a disservice when you don’t take risks solely because you are afraid of failure. Think of it in this way:

Everything always works in your favor.

There is always a reason why things take an unexpected direction, and understanding that can shift your perspective. Failures are a valuable lesson—learn from them, grow from them. Failure is just a detour to your destination, a temporary setback.

One thing about me, I’m not afraid to fail. Not that many things scare me. Obviously, I have my set of fears, but fear of failure doesn’t fall in that line. How will I learn without making mistakes?

I’ve had my set of failures. In college, I struggled academically at first—to the point where I thought I wouldn’t graduate on time. But that realization pushed me to rediscover my love of learning and prove to myself that I could turn things around. That’s how I found my passion for blogging.

Taking Advantage of the Words You Say to Yourself

Given my track record, I genuinely feared that I (1) wouldn’t graduate and (2) wouldn’t graduate with honors. But I had a vision: I wanted to graduate with a 4.0 GPA—very ambitious of me—considering I was averaging a B to C grade level.

I essentially manifested the sh*t out of my life. I would tell myself, every day, “I am graduating in spring 2022 with a 4.0 GPA.” Wherever there was space in my planner, I would write it down: “I am graduating in spring 2022, everything always works in my favor.”

At first, I wasn’t sure if the words I was saying were real, if what I was writing down was even real. But I had no choice. I had to believe it. There was no way that I wasn’t graduating in four years—not only for financial reasons, but I had set that goal since the beginning. Not believing in myself wasn’t an option.

After putting in the work, not only were things looking up, but I found my newfound love of learning. My hard work led me to this: blogging. I loved writing essays, especially academic essays, and it opened up a new path for me.

When it came to blogging, I had no idea what I was doing. Was I afraid to fail? Absolutely. Was I afraid of what people would think? Absolutely. Was I afraid that no one would read it? Absolutely.

But at the end of the day, I had to remember why it was important for my voice to be heard. I had to block out the noise and focus on my fulfillment, understanding that my voice is important and valuable. This is how I like to express myself, and if someone doesn’t like it or if no one even reads it, at least I know that I tried and put my all into it.

What I Learned about Self-Talk

You really have to rewire your brain—take advantage of your self-talk and understand that setbacks don’t define you. It’s all about how you react and how you decide to move forward.

You can use your setbacks as a learning experience, or you can be negative about it. I chose to use my setbacks as a learning experience, to spring me forward, rather than letting them drag me down. There’s always more than one way to react to anything. I encourage you to use the one that ends in: things always working in your favor.

This is all about how you speak to yourself. Unfortunately, it can be easier to feed into your negative thoughts, especially automatic negative thoughts or ANTs, which ultimately rewires your subconscious negatively.

Instead, try telling yourself every day: “everything always works in my favor” or “everything always works out for me,” you can even add “I’m so lucky, everything always works out for me,” because it truly works. Your subconscious repeats itself and that’s just exactly what’s going to happen.

Obviously, there’s work that needs to be done to get to that place of reaching your manifestations or goals. I didn’t just say those things to myself without putting in the work. Since I was telling this to myself every day, I had to find ways in order to make it true—whatever it took, honestly.

Take advantage of your subconscious and rewire it to believe that you can achieve anything you want, despite setbacks.

If you’re having trouble and continue to speak negatively about yourself, I also encourage you to switch your thoughts into the third person. For example, “I am going to fail” turns into “Kaels is going to fail” and just take a moment to think, why would someone say that about yourself? Think of yourself in positive terms—you deserve it. <3

Conclusion

Take those risks, step outside of your comfort zone, and don’t be afraid to fail. We have to really live and experience our lives, y’all! There’s value in everything that you do, and that goes with your reactions to your downfalls. We gotta have the downs to have the ups, let’s be real.

Elsa said it best: into the unknown.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Fake it Til You Slay it: The Power of Confidence and Self-Belief

Last Updated: October 2024

Live how you see your future self, that way you turn into exactly that. I can tell you that when you start to simply act confident, you’ll soon just naturally become confident. And everything just works out in your favor. Believe that.

Building Confidence

Walk around as if you own everything and as if the world revolves around you. Because, it does. 

Power isn’t given to you, you always have it. You are so f*cking powerful, use that. 

The universe always has your back. 

Tell yourself this, every day.

You have to believe it yourself in order for things to happen, for things to align. 

Your words are more powerful than you think. Whatever you say in your mind, whatever you say out loud, your mind is trained to believe whatever you say or whatever you put out there. 

For you boss b!tches

I truly just want you to understand how powerful you are - you’re a bad b!tch. Don’t ever forget that.

When you start being the person you see yourself to be, everything will fall into place. You have to believe that you’re exactly where you need to be and that you are going to end up exactly where you are meant to because the universe knows that. 

I know what you’re thinking, like “this f*cking b!tch” and YES, this f*cking b!tch LMAO. Show up for yourself. MAKE the change. Visualize your higher self and show up and act accordingly. 

You have the dreams and visualizations for a f*cking reason. Now act on it. Just let it be, show up, and be that b!tch. Trust the universe!! It always has your back. 

Let’s get it!

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3