Embracing Change: Continuously Creating a Smarter, Sexier, Better Version of You
As I get older, I start to notice how fast-paced life really is. It’s continuous change, and while I understand that, I still get hit with a wave of confusion every time a new era is upon me. I can’t help it, I’m just a girl.
Part of entering a new era is putting in the work with self-reflection and self-work. Most of this just falls under: what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve learned, areas of growth, and, ultimately, who I want to be.
Upon entering a new chapter/new season/new era, or whatever it is you might call it, there are certain things that happen just prior, or what I like to call: what the f*ck is happening. It’s that in-between stage, that period of struggle/growth where continuous self-work is the only thing that can pull me up to the next stage.
I’m sharing with you, the things that happen to me when I am in this “what the f*ck is happening” stage:
i struggle with my outfits.
I spent the last year working in corporate, so I started to become more conscious of my outfits, more conservative if you will. I’ve never had such conscious thoughts about my outfits, so this is different for me. My whole wardrobe has gone array. As of now, I basically have two different wardrobes: one for work me and one for just me. Let’s just say that work me is a completely different person than just me. With all of my different aesthetics, it confuses me. My whole personality is synonymous to my outfit - since I’m still learning who I am and who I want to be, there’s a tug between my past self and my future self. And that’s just from outfit choices.
2. i want to watch something ✨new✨, not my same old comfort movies/shows.
My comfort shows, or rather, background noise has a constant rotation: Parks and Recreation, Wizards of Waverly Place, Superstore, or Schitt’s Creek. I want quick wit and a short time frame, but, again, it’s solely there for background noise, since I don’t need to fully pay attention. However, as of late, I’ve been wanting to sit down and watch something new. It may sound like a minor thing, but I don’t watch shows or movies all that often, so to me, it’s weird that I am looking for new things to watch.
Ultimately, it’s just new comfort movies/shows to add for my new and improved self.
3. i’m having a crisis
Me not knowing how to dress and me craving to watch new things has led me to believe that I’m having an identity crisis. If I don’t know how to present myself, then I must be confused about who I am - it also means that I’m creating who I want to be for the next couple of years. I’m reinventing myself, once again, with my same set of values, but with a new perspective on the world, based on everything I’ve learned. I’m really doing the deep reflection so that I don’t feel as if I’m in this criss anymore. But, this sh*t is hard.
As scary as change may be, staying constant sounds much scarier. When I reflect on the past few years of my life, I am definitely not the same bitch that I was just a couple of years ago, and thank goodness for that. I want to continue to grow and learn, and the only way to do that is through: reflection, but also doing the things that scare you.
All I continue to think about is how I can be better. I’m constantly finding ways to improve myself to be the person who I truly want to be. I’m just always in competition with myself, what can I say.
It’s a new year, but it’s the same sh*t I’m always striving for:
a better version of myself: sexier, smarter, and overall the baddest b*tch.
Of course I have to be dramatic and say I’m having an identity crisis, because I am.
Just when you think everything is going all swell and dandy, something changes 😶🌫️
It’s not always a bad thing, you’re given the chance to learn and grow. You’re given an opportunity to test yourself.
So, what lessons were taught in 2023? ✨Too many✨
Embrace change, it’s going to happen. Be mindful. Trust your gut. Stop caring about what other people think of you. Don’t “save” anything pleasurable for a different time because if not now, when? Treat your life like a special occasion, because it is. Every day matters.
What did you learn in 2023 and what are you striving for in 2024?
xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3
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