What being Filipino-American means to me

Last Updated: Sep. 2024

I was going to start with “I think about this question a lot”, but that’s a lie. I don’t.

I am Filipino-American. There are no deep thoughts attached to that sentence.

I’m not saying that it doesn’t mean anything to me - it’s the essence of who I am. Yet, it’s not something I actively think about or attach meaning to because it’s just who I am.

What does it mean to me?

That’s the thing - I don’t really know how to answer this. If someone were to ask me this question in person, I’d say “uhhhhhhh” and just list a bunch of values, Filipino food, and the little Tagalog that I know. It means everything because it’s who I am.

It means that I am close with my family. It means that I love Filipino food. It means that I grew up swagapino.

I genuinely don’t have a full answer for you, but I wish I did.

Bakit? (Why?)

Being Filipino-American exists on a spectrum. I understand both cultures, but in very different ways, from my own unique perspective.

For example, I grew up living with my grandparents and uncle - along with my sisters and dad. That is Filipino af. However, I don’t understand a lick of Tagalog, aside from the bad words and basics, obviously. That is American af.

I grew up around other Filipinos and Filipino-Americans, so I was never shy about being Filipino or felt the need to conform to strictly American culture. More importantly, I grew up constantly surrounded by family - cousins, aunties, uncles, and grandparents.

That in itself is very Filipino. There were always family parties, and they were always the same: food, relatives, karaoke, and just overall good vibes. A distinct sound that lives in my head is the muffled noice of a party through a quiet bedroom door. Me and my cousins would just end up having sleepovers after the parties because the adults would still be having fun past midnight.

My upbringing was the perfect blend of Filipino-American. Growing up with my grandparents, they instilled values that I might not have developed otherwise. There are a lot of values that I hold that can be deemed Filipino (collectivism and family), while others are more American (individualism). This is where my blend of being Filipino-American really shines.

I value respect, hospitality, and family - just a few values I believe are blends from both cultures. The last one, though—family—is tricky for me. I understand that family is important, but I also know that family can be toxic. I’ve experienced harmful behaviors from family members and witnessed non-stop drama. This is where my inner conflict lies.

Honestly, I see the toxicity and know that it’s unhealthy. I know it’s something I don’t want to pass on to future generations, yet I go silent. In Filipino fashion, I talk my sh*t… behind the person’s back. Chismis as f*ck. But it’s what I’ve been conditioned to do. That’s a whole other topic, but just know that I am determined to break generational trauma.

Wtf is she talking about

Let’s get back on track. There’s just so much that can be said, we can make this a whole discussion forum. But let’s get back into it:

I embody being Filipino-American daily. It has shaped a lot of my experiences and behaviors.

If you want to read more about how culture shapes different parts of our lives, I discuss it my posts on how culture impacts time and how culture impacts education.

Being Filipino-American is deeply rooted in community. I mentioned earlier that I value family and collectivism. The Philippines has a collective culture, which has translated into my day-to-day life thanks to my upbringing and the values my grandparents instilled in me.

I love meeting other Filipinos—we run deep. There’s something so comforting about it—you just automatically get each other.

There may be shame, unfortunately, surrounding identity as a historically marginalized group. As I get older, I’ve come to understand that there’s a lot to unlearn. With unlearning the negative behaviors, there’s a greater understanding that there is so much to be proud of. This is why community and a sense of belonging are so important—you’re seen, and you’re heard. You can connect with others and reclaim your identity in a much prouder and louder way. (Shoutout to Gabi and her deep insights for allowing me to write this.)

In college, that space for me was the Filipino club—shoutout to Barkada SCU. I remember seeing the Filipino flag at their table in Benson (iykyk), and my ears perked up. I knew I had found my people for the rest of college and beyond.

All I know for sure is that Filipinos get excited when they meet other Filipinos, and that feeling is hard to put into words.

For me, being Filipino-American means everything, yet it is something I struggle to put into words because it’s just who I am.

That being said, what does being Filipino-American mean to you? Let’s talk about it. Also, more importantly, what’s your favorite Filipino food?

mahals,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

(mahals: our abbreviation for “mahal kita” translating to “i love you” in Tagalog)